Please complete form (humor)

Complete Your Evil Plan
Your evil plan is nearly complete. Simply fill in your answers in the appropriate blanks below and then get ready to call your press conference. You may want to photocopy this page first, in case you change your mind later and want to create a different evil plan.

Primary Concerns

Your Objective:
World Domination Destroy the Earth Criminal Activities Widespread Misery Soul Accumulation

Your Motive:
Money Power Revenge Love (Yes, it works) Madness Sadistic pleasure To show them all Hatred for all mankind So another race can take over Evil - It's my nature Mom never loved me

Stage One:
kidnap assassinate incapacitate blackmail seduce expose traumatize incinerate clone devour

People:
Wall Street executive rich and powerful CEO wealthy heiress scientist senator Pope military general Superman police chief diplomat chosen one news reporter town mascot famous actor/actress rock star

How do people react when you enter a room?
sit up and take notice wipe the sleep from their eyes realize something is wrong give one another worried looks swallow nervously bite their nails choke on their food whisper among themselves sense a grave disturbance in the force sign up for life insurance policies slaughter a sacred calf to appease the gods leave

Stage Two:
seize control of destroy steal contaminate/poison desecrate sabotoge poison smash disintegrate obliterate vaporize

Monuments:
the White House Mt. Rushmore Fort Knox the Grand Canyon Empire State Building the Town's Water Supply the Pyramids of Giza that Opera House in Sydney New York the Eiffel Tower the Statue of Liberty United Nations the Internet the Pacific Ocean the Moon (ooh, tides!)

How do mere mortals react to your presence?
scream faint tremble give up flee in terror weep uncontrollably gibber like madmen die in a way you just don't want to think about lose their minds leap from the nearest window spontaneously combust fall into catatonic trances wet their pants

Stage Three:
reveal to the World unleash covertly move demonstrate activate release send forth prepare let loose tauntingly wave prepare

Weapons:
thermonuclear missiles corporate takeover armies of destruction doomsday device secret death ray needlessly big weather machine armageddon clock plague of doom time machine unholy weapon arcane ritual opening of the seven seals great supernatural forces

End Result:
elect you dictator for life give you control of the planet send you all their money fall madly in love with you make you their new god whisper your name in fear worship the ground you walk on lavish endless praise on your misdeeds pray to you for enlightenment name you Evil Man/Woman of the Year erect a gigantic statue of you restore your credit rating grant you three maidens of virtue true

Supplemental Information:

Descriptive Verb: How would you characterize the look on the doctors face when you were born?
stunned amazed baffled shocked terrified frightened alarmed confused unsettled bewildered overwhelmed horrified paralyzed

Base of Operations:
medieval castle corporate tower underground secret headquarters of doom floating fortress space station abandoned church fake mountain ancient gomb island of Mu haunted woods obsidian citadel amusement park air fortress Hell

Type of Henchmen:
classic thugs corporate suits robot warriors mutant race animal minions (rats, birds, etc.) computer programmers the undead mean english teachers evil clowns ninjas cultists alien life forms mad scientists winged monkeys the religious right

How would you describe yourself:
Criminal Mastermind Evil Genius Demented Madman Sadistic Fiend Threat to our Children Ripe Bastard Nightmare beyond Comprehension Really Bad Guy Demon Straight Out of Hell Unholy Menace Despoiler of all that is Good and Nice and True Spammer

Do you prefer to dress:
in Classic Black in a Corporate Suit in a Supervillain Costume with Gimmicks in a Robotic Exoskeleton in your Wizard's Robes in Battle Armor as a Dark Gunslinger as a Brain in a Jar as an Intelligence Transferred into a Computer as an Elemental as an Evil twin/Opposite wearing the skin of another human

Your existence signals:
the Apocalypse the End of All Things Horrors beyond Man's Comprehension the Destruction of the Masses Nightmares for every Man, Woman and Child a 1984 Police State Rivers that Run Red with Blood an End to Sanity Pain, suffering, the usual the Dead rising from the Grave the Return of the Antichrist an Unending Cacophony of Screams Something That's Really Metal

Pick a word just for the hell of it:
fear rage insanity horror slaughter evil blood dear God No nightmares the Spice Girls all that is wrong with the world fuzzy bunnies sheer dementedness metal

Tragic Past: What would no person ever do in your fearsome presence?
cross you beat you up call you names point and laugh roll his or her eyes steal your woman fire you interrupt your sentences take your lunch money refuse to be your prom date sabotage your music career sneer cruelly at your disfigured face make you clean your room

Power: What do you possess?
supreme might cunning intelligence amazing toughness incredible power unbreakable will dashing good looks superior firepower unmatched physical prowess extraordinary charisma mystical abilities superhuman powers mind-boggling insanity overwhelming vvil

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